What do you mean, it's been awhile? ;-)

OK, OK, it's been awhile since I updated the blog.

Well, you see, shortly after the last update, we had a bit of a tiff (a.k.a. a knock-down, drag-out fight), and I didn't feel like updating the blog. Then there was a lot of updating to do, and I didn't have the time. But people are starting to notice that it hasn't been updated, and they are wondering if we are still alive.

We are! So without further ado, the update.

I don't want to talk about the fight. If you've been following the blog, you probably already know what it was about. And if you fight with your spouse, you pretty much know about how it went. Suffice it to say that we are mended now and back on a happy path.

One of the things that has put us on the happy path is the discovery of a tube food that doesn't make Vic sick. His old "food" was just getting harder and harder to take, making him more nauseated and less inclined to want to feed or to try to eat anything by mouth (even if he could). A friend of his brought over an Ensure-like drink called Nutrilife, and he started drinking one of those in the morning, which made his first feed of the day slightly less awful. He also tried some eggnog at her house, and he started drinking that to get some calories. But those were only stopgap measures—we had to find a tube food that worked! So we called the nutritionist at Apria (where he gets his "food" from), and she raided their warehouses and brought us up several other kinds of "food."

The first one he tried was a "food" that was actually made from food rather than a formula of stuff. It was much better than the original, but it was only 240 calories. He was going to have to drink, like, eight cans of it a day. The second one he tried was a formula, but a slightly less dense one than the original. It wasn't as good as the first one, but still better than the origial.

But the third one. The third one. Oh, yes, the third one! It carried almost no side effects. It was 300 calories, so he only needs six cans a day (maybe five, if he's eating other things). So we ordered a bunch of that, and it has been pretty smooth sailing ever since. It only takes about 20–30 minutes to feed, and then he can do things for the next hour and a half. Before, it would take at least an hour to get the "food" down, and then he'd have to nap for another hour or two just to feel better. He'd wake up, and it would immediately be time to feed again, and the cycle would start all over. He was miserable. But this new food really works for him. It's still not perfect, but compared to the other food, it is a godsend.

Unfortunately, the news on the swallowing front isn't as promising. We had a follow-up appointment with the gastrointestinal (GI) doctor a couple of weeks ago. Vic reported that swallowing hadn't improved much, and the GI doctor said they could dilate another 3 mm or so (which would be normal swallowing size), but that was about as far as they could go without risking damage. When I said, "As he continues to swallow, will that help? Like if you use your muscles, they get used to being used?" And he said, "Not really. That scar tissue will probably always cause his throat to want to close up, and we'll probably have to do throat dilations for the rest of whatever."

This was a real blow to Vic, and that's when he finally realized that his life may never be what it was before the cancer. (Damn cancer.) All this time, we were thinking that the recovery wll be slow, but when it's over, life will be the same. But no, it doesn't look that way. I think I would have used this as an excuse to take to my bed and feel sorry for myself for a week (or more), but it had the opposite effect on Vic. It made him more determined to take charge of his recovery. On one of our afternoon walks, he said "All this time, I've been waiting for the corner to come to me. Now I know that if I'm going to turn the corner, I'm going to have to walk there myself." He's been faithfully ingesting five cans a day, drinking as much other stuff as he can, and trying new things. We went to Tokyo Joe's the other day—he'd been craving California rolls—and he was able to eat three-and-a-half pieces out of the four he ordered! He is eating more soup when he makes it, and he is able to eat three jumbo shrimps at a time. Other things haven't been as successful, and some have been downright disappointing—but he keeps trying despite the disappointment. I am really, really proud of him.

Thanksgiving was only slightly disappointing. It's Vic's favorite holiday. He loves just visiting with our families, and of course, eating. But it's a very long day. Between his sisters and mine, it's an eight- to ten-hour day, which probably would have knocked him out for a week. And of course, it is an eating holiday, and even though things are getting better, they aren't getting that much better just yet. He would have had to feed three times from his stupid canned food while everyone around him was gorging themselves on the most delicious food in the world. So we didn't go out for Thanksgiving. But his wonderful sister Alice brought up the moistest turkey, the smoothest mashed potatoes and a vat of gravy the day before Thanksgiving, and that's what we had on Thanskgiving day. He wasn't able to eat a lot of it (besides the swallowing issue, his mouth is still so dry that it's hard to eat anything he has to chew, and don't get me started again on the mucous), but he said it sure did taste good. The day after Thanksgiving, his other wonderful sister Patty brought up more moist turkey, more mashed potatoes, the stuffing he had been craving, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. Again, he wasn't able to eat a lot of it, but he said it tasted delicious. His sisters sure do love him.

Next up (insert ominous music): the follow-up PET scan to determine whether the treatment worked. It's this Wednesday, and although our medical people seem very sure of themselves, we are starting to get a little nervous. Then he has a doctor's appointment with the radiation oncologist on Monday (12/12) to get the results. You will certainly get a post from me that day—either way.

Since it was just Thanksgiving, I want to take a quick moment to once again thank all our family and friends for all your support. I see little things here and there that tell me you are still thinking of us, and all your thoughts and prayers and healing energy are keeping us going every day.

I'd like to leave you this week with another picture of Wags (shocker). We started writing The Scallion this weekend. It's a little tricky to write this year because I've been blogging and I feel like I've used up all the good lines. But we think we have a good start. We should be able to finish it up next weekend (or weekEND, as my English friend Michelle would pronounce it), and you should see it in your mailboxes (or e-mail inboxes) the week after. Anyway, part of The Scallion is our annual holiday picture. Wags is getting really good at taking these pictures. She scoots into my lap pretty well, and she drops the ball practically on cue. But every once in a while, she gets a little excited that Dad is coming to join us at the tree, and this is the result:

Happy day—see ya back here in a week or so!