Finding Inspiration

Vic and I were taking one of our new customary evening walks. The ones we started because I was tired of my doctor yelling at me to get more exercise. :-)

I have been quite impressed by his positive attitude over the past several weeks, and I wondered what he sees when he's in the dark and the demons come. Did he cry into his pillow at night? Or did he just want to scream? Or do demons not come to visit him.

First, he scoffed at the idea that he would cry into his pillow. I get that.

But then he said, "Mostly I just whine 'why me?'" And then he proceeded to whine, in a very whiny voice, "Why me? I already had cancer once. I died last year. Why did I get cancer again? And why this kind of cancer? I don't smoke, I don't drink. I've led a pretty good life." He continued along this vein throughout the rest of our walk, throwing in some whiny moans every now and then for effect.

Now on the one hand, it was very sad—because yeah, why? It's not that I'd wish it on someone else—well, there was that one guy who cut me off in traffic the other day—but I think we've been through enough for a while. No need to pile it on.

But on the other hand, it was hilarious because he was using the most hilarious voice and saying the most hilarious things. It just showed once again his positive attitude and spirit—the qualities that will get him through the home stretch.

But one of the best things about it was that it reminded me of one of my favorite quotes. Well, two, actually, now that I think about it.

The first one is from incomparable tennis legend Arthur Ashe. Arthur Ashe was a true gentleman of the game, and he didn't need a big serve or an outsized attitude to win Wimbledon, the U.S. Open and the Australian Open. His career was cut short by a heart attack—but his life was cut short by the HIV he contracted during a blood transfusion. After he went public about his condition, if I remember correctly, a reporter asked him something like, "Do you ever wonder why it happened to you? And Arthur Ashe replied, "If I were to say 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said 'God, why me?' about the good things that happened in my life."

And we have some good things in our lives. We have each other. We have our families and friends. We have food to eat, and a roof over our heads, and heat in the winter. I have my stitching stash. And of course, we have Princess Wagglebutt.

So why we may still ask "Why me/why him" when we can't sleep at night, we don't dwell on it.

The second quote will probably be familiar to those of you who have known me for a long time, because I tend to trot it out several times a year under certain circumstances. This one is from Dr. Martin Luther King, who said, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

I'm sure he was referring to bigger issues—societal, political, global challenges—but I think it can be applied to personal challenges as well.

And so I leave you with this: My Vic is 20 feet tall. And my greatest inspiration.