Still not dead! But also not driving.

OK, so, those of you who are loyal readers of this blog will know that about six months ago, Vic didn't die.

Oh, you don't remember that? Read all about it here:

Death: The Sequel

Did you read it? Go ahead. I'll wait.

OK. So. Now you know he used his defibrillator. Which we hoped he never would.

Since then, he and his doctors had adjusted his medications a few times, and while the pacemaker part of the defibrillator device paced him out of a few incidents, the defibrillator did not go off.

And it still hasn't. But.

A week ago (December 4, to be precise—which I am just now realizing is exactly seven months to the day after his defibrillator actually went off), he was—well, shoot, let him tell it:

So he went to the doctor on Thursday. The doctor wants to try this "ablation" surgery, where he'll go into the heart and try to scrape it out in case there is something going on in there that's causing the heart to go wacky. (That is the technical term. I can use it because I watch Grey's Anatomy.) But regardless of how that surgery comes out, the doctor ordered him not to drive for six months. "If it were me," he said, "I would stop driving altogether." Yeah. I'll bet you would.

As Lewis Black would say (TV-MA: language):

Apparently this video is not viewable on mobile

devices. Sign on to a laptop or a desktop to watch.

Or just imagine a bobble-headed Lewis Black 

saying "Go fuck yourself," and you have the jist.

So Vic will no longer be driving, at least for the time being. He is exploring some alternatives. Bikes, scooters (he really wants a Vespa), a Segway (as-if). There's even a cute little bike car called an ELF. That's what I want him to get. Because it's so cute!

How cute is this?

So that's Vic's newest health news. If you see him walking, biking or ELFing around Longmont, don't honk your horn. It'll scare the crap out of him.